Oh, those pranksters at Personnel Administration! Such cards! First, they schedule the oathtaking of the newest batch of cadets...on April 1! This of course won't affect the cadets' legitimacy as FSO IVs, but from now on, as they move through the bureaucracy, everyone who sees their appointment papers will glance up and snicker, "Yeah, right."
They were probably also told FSO life is all cocktail parties, glamour and rainbows. Suckers.
Then, Personnel announces out of the blue that my batchmates and I have been promoted to FSO III (legally pronounced "FSO Threeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, baby!!!"), and that we had to take new oaths, pronto. All well and good, except: a) we were expecting the announcement a couple of months earlier; and b) the announcement was made on the last day before the long Holy Week holidays, i.e., when the de facto Home Office dress code was already set to "awkward casual".
Thus, "Amazing Grace" (the only other batch-member not yet posted, and the one most responsible for pressuring Personnel to carry out the promotions) and I had to go on a mad last-working-day search for oath-appropriate attire. For her part, "Amazing Grace" essentially disrobed our kind, motherly Admin Officer (who was then left to hide and cower in her office because, as she put it, "wala na akong karapatan mag-sleeveless!"). On my end, I scavenged an old skinny tie, then accosted the office-new guy "Ozymandias" and relieved him of his black blazer. The problem: "Ozymandias" is almost half my size, so the blazer was short and skin-tight, bunched up at the forearms, and had a collar that kept popping up -- just like an 80's Jojo Alejar jacket.
Normally, that would be a good thing.
As much as I wanted to be promoted to FSO III dressed as one of The Tigers, it simply wasn't practical: I couldn't raise my hand above my shoulder and assume the oath-taking position without ripping the back of the blazer. So an emergency call was made to our protocol office to break out the emergency formal wear. When was the last time this was done? I don't really know, but I can tell you the jacket given to me smelled of Elmer's Glue and, more disturbingly, had a pair of black spandex underpants rolled up in the front pocket.
Which is a serious diplomatic faux pas because, as everyone knows, spandex underpants should be white before Labor Day. (unless the spandex underpants were white at the start; in which case, ew.)
But time was running out in the day, so I still donned the emergency blazer and hurriedly took my oath as FSO III, side by side with "Amazing Grace". At the end of it all, I was thoroughly happy, filled with a renewed sense of service, duty, and confidence in mixing a blue blazer with brown pants.
Not seen in picture: the renewed sense of alcogel handwashing to get rid of black spandex underpants smell
6 comments:
Hi, I am an avid visitor of your blog for quite sometime. I hope you can provide us FSO-hopefuls of tips for the FSO exams...
By the way, your blog rocks!
No, Anonymous, YOU rock!
Your question is a bit tricky. I don't think there are any magic, surefire tips. Heck, there are entire review courses out there that have few or no passers every year. On the other hand, the FSO corps is made up of people with diverse academic and professional backgrounds, including some you wouldn't normally see in foreign affairs (*cough* architect *cough*)
The common thread I've noticed among those who've passed the FSO exam is not exactly earth-shattering news: whether because of work or because of interest, they read and write. A LOT.
"Well, no s**t, Sherlock!", y'all might say. Fine. I'm just saying FSOs seem to have been reading non-stop since birth. Sure, they still watch movies and "Tayong Dalawa" marathons, but at almost every other instant you'll see them hunched over, devouring the latest book or magazine (which is why most of the FSOs you see in this blog have glasses; and lousy posture)
As for writing, it sounds simple, but really, when was the last time you tried to write something coherent, substantive and interesting from scratch, in longhand, with a tight time limit? Prior to the exam, my answer was "never", but at least I had some experience in preparing legal briefs (ah, memories). Other FSOs had experience making reports and memos and other boring stuff. But we all got a lot of practice somewhere. (And, hence, very few dates. Hm? Sorry, I'm being told that was just me)
I guess that's the best advice I can give: get your reps. Keep on reading anything you can get your hands on, and every so often, practice writing an essay about anything, but with no notes and within a fixed time. It will help you develop your style, substance and structure. And for God's sake, check your grammar!
Rock on.
My lord, my friends were amongst those who took their oath for the Service on that, erm, "auspicious" day.
We applaud the promotion and the posting, m'lord.
Yes, the blog hath a readership.
And how on earth did the spandex undies get there??? I think it pays to have a dark jacket and a spare tie in reserve somewhere that will certainly not reek of Elmer's glue... and will not have someone else's knickers in 'em.
You'll realize soon enough once you join the dfa: dem boys down there in protocol are wild and crazy guys. They also kick ass every year at the office basketball tournament, so I may have been holding knickers during my oath, but they were knickers OF A CHAMPION.
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